Politics: The Madness We May Not Enjoy Again

Was this how you started, too?Knock! Knock! Knock! Who is there? It is me, Enigma. I am ready for let’s go to campus, Enigma picks up his criss-cross bag, wears his glasses after combing his bushy hair. What are we talking about today? Powerful! I don’t know, perhaps, I have asked you to stop calling powerfully, I am not a POWER- FOOL. Ok! So… I have a gist to give you, yes! You don’t say gist me, you say give me the gist! SEE, don’t start, talk if you want to talk. LOL Academic KUKULAJA, haha! which one be KUKU… whatever!

It all started during the first-semester examination, they will become clergymen praying for everyone to come off with flying colors during and after examination, the irony is that a large chunk of them don’t have time to read as they are carried away with the task ahead. Hey! I just saw a message from ORIFOKOKO, are you sure? Yes! He must be an aspirant, you don’t mean it! See, let me tell you the best way to recognize someone with an ambition either as a protagonist or an antagonist is by suddenly seeing them become prayer warriors during exams or Whatsapp group motivational speaker who will do copy and paste quote daily. Haha, this one is deep!

Tellingly, they deface the lecture halls with their names inscribed on A4 papers with a short prayer for everyone, next you meet yourself in a group named ORIFOKOKO IN…in what Enigma, haha! leave me, why not let me finish my speech before you crucify me! See, those one vying for a post at the department, those ones are gentle they dare not speak ill of the current administration, even when the sheep leads the lion. They are always becoming conservatives as they seek the support of the incumbent president, yes! It is tantamount to their victory. Hmm, pure fallacy, what gave you the assurance? Have you not observed, leadership calls for the majority, Yes! Democracy the tyranny of the majority, that’s the simple formula, and perhaps most people sheepishly follow the leader, even when he doesn’t walk the talk, accountability is least demanded, everyone is convinced they tried after Orientation, this and that week and sharing of incentives, really? To cap it all some of them will do audio projects, what’s audio projects? Simply note, they would have promised heaven on earth during their campaign but when they want to do any project, they simply renovate one existing project and put their names that’s all. Yes, that’s all in the words of the NCDC boss ‘that’s all’.

You this boy, words are hidden in you! Forget that one, make I yarn the tori, haha Enigma, what’s that in English? Should I give you the gist? Ok! So let me tell you about the antagonists, these ones are the real MVPs, they are the ones vying for a post at the SUG, in fact, they are always bursting my bubbles, don’t forget they all start the same way, but these ones, they will start immediately! during their screening, that’s for some of them way Sabi politics small, they tell you baba I get ambition, staring! They find one or two campus influencers they move closer to them and carry them along with their plans, that one will school them too, go and meet this and that person, let him know about your ambition, I called this first come first served game. This is deep! Should I continue? Hmm! Let me buy your table water, table water ke! I will prefer you to call it bottled water. Leave me joor! Clears throat

After that one, they will become the loudspeaker in the department and faculty always commenting on issues, they will be as gentle as a dove if you slap them they won’t talk. Baba na scope! If they manage to become course rep good for them, if they don’t, they will always try to get attention by all means. Wait oh! Are you still talking about the SUG guys? Yes! By their fruits, bros Jay said we shall know them. No meeting wey them no go attend, they will come to you and become your friends suddenly, they will be the new wanderer always showing up everywhere. Ok! I am following the gist, what now makes them the antagonist? As time goes by they start commenting on campus issues and foreshadowing what will happen and perhaps telling the stories of what the present administration fails to do. They will be the new solution provider mapping out what and what should have been done. See scope! Baba forgets leadership is for men, not boys ask HOPE and KENRAJ. You will know to say Christian self they do juju! What’s juju? Haha, no be me talk am. What’s surprising about all these guys, they simply have one thing in common, sharp memory, they will come, clears throats again, Great Nigerian students, this is the physical appearance of comrade Orifokoko, I am politically, scientifically, academically, actually, mentally, and spiritually known as… Haha! Enigma, which one is Enigma. Seriously, if they don’t say all these when next they address us, then, I am not Enigma! I will remind you of my hands covering my mouth. Some of themself will memorize to the extent that, If they see you a hundred times, they will say the same thing, should I mention names, Enigma, I dare you. Mention names, I will let’s keep on reeling out the gist. Na! Election period you will understand, what I am saying? Haha, talk now! During the election they will become vigilante going to everyone’s house, knocking on every door, singing different aluta songs, killed, you don’t seem to get me, they will paint the whole of iree with their names, in fact, I heard that one use to give them vibes as it will make them well-known among students, haha Enigma. But the ladies go suffer in these guys hand, why? they will become their garments, they go change them one by one, yes especially those gullible ones, don’t you know ladies follow name and fame. Enigma there is a lecturer in the class now! I have to go now, I will give you the gist later…Ok! thanks.

I go yarn una the tori, later.