In a world where gender disparities persist across education, employment, leadership, and even health, conversations about equality often begin in classrooms, boardrooms, or legislative chambers. However, there is a space far more influential and formative than any of these: the home. The earliest messages children receive about their roles in society come not from textbooks or television screens but from the subtle cues within their family environment. If we are truly committed to raising balanced, empowered, and socially aware individuals, then gender equality must not be a concept we expect schools or institutions to teach alone. It must start where every child takes their first steps, at home.
The influence of the home on a child’s perception of gender roles cannot be overstated. The family is a child’s first community, and parents and guardians are their first role models. The way chores are divided, the kind of praise given, the expectations set for sons versus daughters, and even the toys children are given. all these communicate values. When children consistently see mothers as caregivers and fathers as providers, they internalise these roles as societal norms. This early socialisation shapes their self-image, future aspirations, and sense of agency in the world.
In Nigeria, the effects of gender-based expectations are particularly entrenched. According to the National Population Commission (NPC) and UNICEF’s Multiple Indicator Cluster Survey (MICS) of 2021, nearly one in five girls are married before age 18, with cultural expectations often placing girls in subordinate roles from a young age. Boys, on the other hand, are encouraged to be dominant, emotionally reserved, and financially driven. These stereotypes don’t just limit individual potential, they perpetuate inequality across generations. Children raised in homes that enforce these rigid roles are more likely to recreate them in their adult relationships, workplaces, and communities.
Moreover, the economic cost of inequality is staggering. A McKinsey Global Institute report in 2015 estimated that if women played an identical role in labour markets as men, as much as $28 trillion could be added to the global GDP by 2025. At a local level, this means Nigeria is missing out on the full contribution of half its population, beginning with the undervaluation of girls from birth. Ensuring gender balance at home is not just a moral imperative—it is a social and economic strategy.
But what does a gender-equal home look like in practice? It begins with conscious parenting. Parents must evaluate their own biases and strive to model equality in everyday interactions. Simple changes, like rotating household chores between sons and daughters or encouraging boys to express emotions without shame, can foster a sense of equity. It also involves ensuring that both boys and girls are exposed to diverse role models—female scientists, male nurses, women in leadership, and men as caregivers.
Language is another powerful tool. How adults talk about success, leadership, and strength matters. Replacing “man up” with “be brave,” or avoiding statements like “that’s not ladylike,” helps dismantle the language of limitation. Children must hear and see that their worth is not dictated by their gender but by their abilities, values, and integrity.
Education also plays a critical role in reinforcing the principles taught at home. While formal schooling can introduce concepts of equality, it is the consistency between school and home that solidifies these values. Teachers, particularly in early education, often mirror familial roles, so when educators and parents align in messaging, the impact is significantly amplified.
Digital media and pop culture are also strong influencers in shaping gender perceptions. Nigerian households must become intentional about the content children consume. Introducing books, TV shows, and films that promote strong, diverse, and balanced representations of all genders can help challenge stereotypes. Children are highly impressionable, and seeing characters who reflect diverse roles helps normalise the idea that anyone can aspire to anything.
One might ask: what about cultural and religious values that often prescribe specific gender roles? Indeed, this is a sensitive topic. However, gender equality does not have to conflict with culture or faith. Many African traditions and religious teachings support respect, fairness, and justice. principles that align with gender equity. The challenge lies not in abandoning culture, but in adapting it to reflect contemporary realities and human rights.
There is also a need to shift societal expectations around masculinity. The pressure on boys to conform to narrow definitions of manhood, stoicism, aggression, dominance can be emotionally damaging. According to WHO data, men are less likely than women to seek help for mental health issues, partly because of the stigma around vulnerability. By teaching boys that empathy, cooperation, and sensitivity are strengths rather than weaknesses, parents can raise emotionally healthy young men who respect and support equality.
The government and civil society have roles to play too. National policies promoting family life education, parental leave, and gender-sensitive media content can create an enabling environment for change. Campaigns that showcase families where both parents contribute equally to caregiving and financial responsibilities help reset societal expectations.
In recent years, some Nigerian parents have started to embrace these ideas. Initiatives like “HeForShe” by UN Women have taken root locally, with men and women advocating for gender balance. Some urban households are now raising children with fewer gender-based restrictions, allowing both boys and girls to choose interests freely from cooking and fashion to science and sports. However, this shift is far from widespread, especially in rural areas, where traditional norms remain deeply entrenched. To make meaningful progress, this movement must become national, not niche. Every home should be a training ground for empathy, equity, and balance. The goal is not to raise children who rebel against culture or tradition, but to raise thinkers—young people capable of navigating a complex world with fairness, confidence, and respect for all.
In conclusion, raising balanced children in Nigeria or anywhere else begins with how we teach them to value themselves and others. If we want a future where women are empowered and men are emotionally whole, we must begin by modelling these ideals within the family. Gender equality must not be a lesson for later life, it must be a way of life from the very beginning. Only then can we create a society where every child, regardless of gender has the freedom and support to realise their full potential.
