Social and Professional Etiquette: Appearance Matters

Your physical appearance is very important. It could be a key factor that sets you apart in various aspects of life: academics, career, social interactions and relationship management. In their book, The Definitive Book of Body Language, Alan and Barbara Pease essentially highlighted various ways in which the perception we make of each other as human beings is largely based on physical appearance. Additionally, many surveys have demonstrated that the best-looking people are the most likely to succeed in their careers. For instance, according to a professional survey of over 10,000 people carried out by Mantelligence.com, 83% believe that a person’s appearance is linked to their success while about 79% believe that well-groomed professionals have better career growth prospects than average-looking professionals.

It is however very important to note that, “best-looking” is not the same thing as “most beautiful or handsome”. After all, we were not all created equally so unavoidably, some people are more beautiful or handsome than others. I have met so many examples of good-looking people who, based on just their natural features, I would not necessarily describe as beautiful, but they have a good package altogether. There is a whole lot more to looks than mere beauty, so my definition of good-looking is a high standard of presenting oneself, both physically and psychologically.

Here are a few things that stand out:

Confidence: I have met many people, who may not be as intellectually sound as others; but because they exude so much confidence, they earn the respect of the people around them through the way they walk, speak and make eye contact and eventually find themselves in “high places”. These people are usually charismatic and, therefore, often appear to be the centre of attention wherever they go. For instance, I know someone who is about 5ft 5inches tall (which is pretty short for a man), but he is so confident, that someone, who on the first time of meeting him said, “What he lacks by an entire foot in height, he compensates for in confidence”.

It is statistically proven that taller men and women are considered more dominant, healthy, intelligent and wealthy (American Psychological Association). However, this person in the conversation reminded me of people like Winston Churchill and Martin Luther King Jr., who in spite of being “average” height, had great power and influence in their time. Confidence goes a long way in every facet of life: At the workplace, it is generally those who are sure of their work and confident in the way they present it that move forward. In social scenaios, simply just do some people-watching at a bar or club on a Friday night and you would observe how these perceptions come to play.

Scent: Back in the Renaissance period, royals used perfume in order to mask their stench because they rarely took showers. It was an item of luxury, but nowadays, there is an affordable brand available for nearly everyone. So really, we don’t have much of an excuse to have bad body odours because these days, we have the resources available to take at least one shower a day and also use the affordable magic stick or spray called deodorant or even some more natural bad-odour-eliminating remedies. To take this further, humans have continued to invent a variety of scents in different forms in addition to perfume; which include body sprays, lotions, oils, mists and so on. My grandma always reminded me that ladies should be seen, heard and smell pleasant. I think the same principle should apply for gentlemen as well. However, we all have to be careful not to wear these devices in an overbearing manner, such that the people around us become uncomfortable. That is certainly not the type of attention we want.

Dress Sense: I believe that the way you dress is a great non-verbal way of expressing yourself. It is very easy to tell when people are confident in what they wear. I distinctly remember a lady at one of my previous work places that dressed really well. She had really good taste and carried herself with a lot of confidence. One day, I had to ask her where she did most of her shopping, and I was surprised to hear that she did so at some low cost stores. Proper dressing does not mean designer clothes, uncomfortable trendy footwear or excessive makeup. It simply means presenting yourself in neat comfortable attire appropriate for the occasion and well suited for various body types for both men and women.

Apart from these points highlighted above, there are other aspects of appearance that stand out, some of which could easily be overlooked but are reflective of self care, good character and hygiene. For example table manners, neatness of the home, cleanliness of shoes, ensuring that clothes are clean and well pressed, orderliness of the office work area. When it comes to appearance, regardless of looks, intelligence or wealth, we all have an effort to make in order to further enhance the perception people have of us wherever we go.

 

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